Supervision Thoughts

Throughout grad school you’ll have a variety of supervisors. Each will have their own experiences, needs, and style. Your experience with supervisors will seriously shape your experiences in grad school.

I have been lucky to have some INCREDIBLE supervisors over the years; ones that I have loved to work with and have helped me to grow in ways I could never imagine. They have been supportive and insightful, discerning when I need support and when I need corrective feedback. These supervisors have also cared about me as a person, and made me feel like I was safe, sane, and understood. If you’re lucky enough to have one of these supervisors (one of my supervisors this year appears to be going this way) then take in every minute of that time. Really push yourself to learn and grow in a safe environment. Be honest about your struggles and areas of confusion. This is the time to really lean in.

But what if your supervisor is… not so easy to click with? What do you do when you feel like you’re trapped with a bad supervisor?

There’s a few different things that can happen here. First of all, there is definitely a point where you need to get a new supervisor. Your safety and education are most important. Someone who is abusing their power and bullying you is never okay.

But sometimes you just have a bad fit. And that’s frustrating, especially when your peers have a supervisor they really get on with. I have a supervisor like that this year, too, just at a different practicum site. Here’s what I say to that: know what you can handle, consult with your school representative as needed, and make sure your requirements are being met. At the end of the day, sometimes we just need a warm body to get the hours required by our program. Is it ideal? No. But rely on the support in your program and from your peers. Be willing to learn from each other, and you can make up for some of your supervision woes.

As for the supervisor themself? Be kind, be respectful, work hard, and try to take their feedback with grace. It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s about you learning and making an effort to grow as a professional. The reality is they’re responsible for you on their license. They can still give you good marks etc. when you feel like it’s a bad fit. Don’t let them ruin your year or keep you from getting the hours you need. Advocate for yourself when necessary (I had to do this the other day–it sucks but it’s does make a difference when you are respectful but firm).

What are your best tips for working with supervisors? How do you know if someone your working with is a good fit? Let me know below!

LDR: Tips & Apps

Something that has been a part of my grad school story is dating. I met my boyfriend during my M.A. program while I was applying for doctorate programs. Much to my amazement, this wonderful man was the first one who encouraged me to attend my current program because he knew it would be an amazing opportunity–even though it meant I ended up moving 1,000 miles away. He helped me pack, he comforted me when I said goodbyes to loved ones. He even made the drive with me in one shot, and then he helped me unload and unpack everything in the middle of the night when my electric company turned on the wrong apartment’s power. He wasn’t grumpy about it, he was patient, kind, and supportive. He made where I am today possible; I could not have done it without him and I am so thankful. And now we’re doing long distance, which has been a new and challenging and rewarding road all of its own.

While we have a long ways to go on this LDR journey, I wanted to take some time today to share what’s worked for us and what I’ve learned.

1. Communication is key: if you feel like you and your partner need to work on your communication skills, and LDR will really highlight this. Talk about how you give and receive affection with one another. Make efforts to connect in some way every single day (even if it’s just a 10 minute phone call check in).
2. Effective Care Packages don’t have to be big or all the time. For example, my boyfriend occasionally sends me really thoughtful packages filled with goodies! I can’t really afford to send a large package (getting all the goodies, paying the shipping cost, etc.) so I do my own versions by sending him monthly cards, making a monthly playlist, and occasionally sending him gifts through amazon!

Go on dates. Yes, dates. Make a date jar of ideas for how you can spend an evening together and pull one out once a week. Something we love to do is buy ingredients to make the same meal, then we FaceTime and cook together and eat together. Some other options for date night include: movie nights, be fitness accountability partners, watch a show together, read a book together, and play games long distance together.

Count down timers are great ways to make time apart feel shorter. Always know the next time you’re going to see your partner; if there’s a possibility you’ll see them sooner that’s cool too, but set the timer for the set in stone days of reunion. Everything else will just be a bonus.

Be proactive and open with your partner. I make an effort to connect with my boyfriend every day, and I don’t expect it to be sunshine and roses all the time. When I’m having a horrible day, I tell him and vice versa. We comfort each other. When I get really exciting news (even if it’s small) I share that joy with him and we can celebrate together. I want him to feel involved and informed on my life: he knows my goals, who my new friends are down here, and my stresses. When we miss each other extra we build in an extra date to help. We aren’t mind readers, so we’re committed to being open and honest about where we’re at so whatever comes up can be experienced together.

Airport days get easier. They always suck. Always. I’m not going to lie about that. But the more you do it, and when you know when you’ll be together next, it feels a lot less heartbreaking each time you get through it.

Find someone who has done long distance before. I can’t tell you how much I have learned from people who have been in LDRs before me or are also currently in one. Whether or not they worked out in the long run, I have learned so much about communication, tips, and found comfort in community. This is honestly such a must and important support for our relationship that I didn’t realize I’d lean on so heavily.

Finally, there’s some practical apps, websites, etc. that you can use to help you connect with your LDR partner. Here are some of my favorites:

• Rabb.it is a website/app that allows you to watch movies and TV shows together long distance without having to sync up pressing play etc. You can make private groups and rooms to watch things together and it includes a chat and microphone option to hear the others watching. It can be finicky, but it’s getting better with each update!
• Marco Polo is a wonderful app that lets you video chat with people. You can make group chats or just talk to one person. It saves the videos and lets you save videos (your own or another’s) to your phone. It also tells you when people are watching live which is fun! It’s like a step up from texting and snapchat.
• Social media. Talk to each other across platforms: IG, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, tumblr, Reddit, etc. Share what you like and see so they can experience it all with you!
• Try out LDR specific apps like Between. They’re cute and a fun way to keep track of anniversaries, photos, and important events.
• If you and your partner like playing games together, try different ways of screen sharing or find an online place to play games together as a means of quality time. There are tons out there, so find one that works for you!

This has been a long post with lots of information, so if you made it this far thanks for sticking with me! If you have any other LDR tips, tricks, or resources please share them here! I’m sure I’ll be making more posts about relationships in the future and would love to learn more for myself.

TA Applications

twitter.com/gradu8student/status/1121187394764464128

I am up for a could of TA opportunities for next year… I am REALLY hoping to get my foot in the door and to set myself up well for my upper years!

Got any advice for a new TA or for someone in the application process? Maybe something you wish you had known when you were in my shoes, or something you wish your TAs this year knew or did better or something they did really well?

Let me know your thoughts, I’m eager to hear what everyone has to say!

Honest Review of the App Shine

You all know how much I adore the mindfulness app, Stop Breathe and Think. I’ve mentioned it several times and described it, and it is my favorite and go to app for mindfulness. It lets you mentally, physically, emotionally check in, and allows you to track yourself in those areas and mindfulness. It also has daily messages and recommendations. I recommend it to my clients all the time. That being said, when an ad for a new mindfulness app came across my IG feed, I had to bite. I mean what’s not to love about more mindfulness, right? So I’ve been using it for the past eight days, and here’s my thoughts on their free version. The app is called Shine-Daily Self-Care and here’s what their logo looks like (so cute!)! First, let’s go over how it works:

1. Shine sends you daily messages (even via text if you don’t want to do it through the app) including two articles on a mental health topic and a free mindfulness track. This happens during the weekdays.
2. Everyday, including weekends, it has you check in by cultivating gratitude (they ask what are you grateful for today) and setting a daily wellness goal (what are you doing to feel good today) and you message back your responses.
3. It tracks how many days in a row you check in!
4. It sends you a reminder for your next check in so you don’t forget.

So here’s what I love about the app:

• The text style is fun and easy to use, I like that I get to actually reply.
• I appreciate that the check ins promote gratitude and setting a wellness goal daily.
• It’s nice to have more materials on weekdays when I am stressed the most
• I value that they tackle different areas explicitly (like motivation or focus) and do all the work for me
• It’s aesthetically pleasing
• The check in reminders are nice
• I have not repeated any materials yet
• They have information about crisis hotlines and calling 911 in an emergency

Here’s what I’m on the fence about for Shine:

• Sometimes their mindfulness tracks seem more like audio lessons, which is fine but it’s definitely not pure mindfulness every time
• The articles are a little long to read, so it takes a while on the weekdays to read all of the materials while other apps are quicker
• I can’t tell how much of their content was developed by mental health professionals, or at least what’s empirically backed in the materials they provide.

Overall though, I really like Shine. It’s fun, simple to use, and an easy way to help make mental health a priority. They provide good content, and large amounts of it (especially for a free version). I definitely will consider recommending it to clients in the future to help give them options in mental health apps! Was this helpful for you guys? Would you like it if I did this kind of thing more? What are your favorite apps to recommend to clients? Have you used Shine before and what are your thoughts? Let me know about it all in the comments!

Suggestions?

What are your favorite mental health/mindfulness apps? 

I really like Stop, Breathe, and Think as well as Simple Habit. 

I want to create a list of suggestions for future reference for clients, so I want to know what people like and to try them out before I start seeing people and possibly suggesting them. 

Also I have internship trainings and start in AUGUST! Can’t believe this is already happening! That whole imposter syndrome is definitely starting to set in… I’m also going to need to get serious about applying to doctorate programs soon here; prayers would be greatly appreciated for both things!